I decided to try to commit (cautiously) to Inktober this year because I had so much success doing my 100 Days project last year. 21 days in and I haven’t missed a one and I’ve produced some pretty painterly pieces around a theme. In fact I’m writing this at my (new) job but I have some more to add to the inktober dump when I get home.
It’s been a quiet summer art-wise what with graduating from Saint Thomas and having my first full time therapy job WHICH I LOVE. But I’ve put out a few completed pieces.
Well, I realized last week that finishing up my Master’s degree has destroyed my ability to engage in activities I like. It was a really rough 5 months honestly. I was angry a lot of the time and depressed a lot of the rest of the time. It was just the fact that the end has been in sight since I started my practicum and it’s been a rough way to end such a long journey starting way back when I started at Adler in 2015.
But I got a job already and I have 25 hours of my 700 hours of supervision left to go. My new job is awesome and I have my own office to do therapy in with adolescents who really need help.
I’ve been managing art here and there but no big projects and nothing that remarkable. Regardless, I put together 20 pictures I’ve worked on this year that haven’t been terrible.
Ok but also I posted this on the 1st because I was very resistant to working on it sooner for whatever reason haha. But Ronan is obsessed with my office in the attic (it’s like 90% because of the moon tapestry I have that he’s obsessed with even though he can’t say moon, so he just goes …bhhhhhhhhhhhhhBA really emphatically) so I’ve been up here being creative more often.
Anyway here’s all the things I meant to do to wrap up the year.
Ok so the idea of kintsugi kept hanging in my head for this year not only because of all the insanity in the world but because of what happened to my back this fall. Physical therapy hasn’t been the miracle pill I was kind of hoping it would be and I think it’s going to be quite a journey back to a healthy strong body.
Anyway this was my first draft of the kintsugi idea
And it’s fine and everything= and her titties and lil back roll look real good but it didn’t really feel sophisticated or anything, so I pivoted and did a self portrait and was like YEp
So…no artistic goals for 2021, just going to see where the year takes me. 🙂
Merry Christmas from my OCs to you! My digital art has come very, very far in 2020, barring all other horrors of the year. It has been a good year for my artistic gains.
This photo is also a beast; I drew it at 11×14 which helped with all the fine details!
Can we appreciate Lucy and Levi hanging sun-globes on the tree? And Nikkei being a dumbass cat? And Danny cheating on his get swol diet, in a body inspired by scrutiny of Henry Cavill as Geralt? 😉 Also Micah’s sweater, give me yes pls.
I definitely have a lot of other art but I’ll save that for a separate post in the quiet days to come.
After a busy month of settling in to our new house and to my internship, I finally relaxed enough today to pick up my iPad. Yesterday a client at my internship kept describing themselves as “nostalgic” so then I got nostalgic and of course my mind turned to my imaginary fam. So I was like HMM WHERE SHOULD THEY BE and then I was like hey bro, nothing wrong with adults going to a bar, and voila. Andrew and Danny arguing while doing shots, Micah filming everyone, and Ingrid ignoring them and drinking good wine (or blood). V atmospheric, no?
It’s been a pretty emotionally empty week. We’re all just waiting. But I did some cute family photos.
Shocking all of us, I FUCKIN FINISHED Code: Compromised (best name I could come up with). It rounded out at 298 pages, infuriatingly. Haha. It’s not super high quality, overall I’d say though the images are better and more artful and obviously more skilled than when I was 18, realistically the paneling and bubbles are about like they were when I was a teenager.
I think the concept was super solid and the plot was really tightly knit, not trying to do too much, and the development of Micah and Andrew’s relationship was really tender and balanced (even if it oogs my husband out because Andrew’s older than Micah, sorry, I have my kinks, if you can even call “age difference” that…the teacher/student thing maybe, but age is shrugs.)
I go back and forth on whether I want to plunge into a “real” draft of it but I know I’d want to use my computer tablet for that, and having the time to do that seems like a distant dream.
I have to give an invisible blog shout out to All Time Low for their new album Wake Up Sunshine literally being the anthem for this whole story. It was fun to use a really old band’s new work to create my first new work in a really long time. I haven’t figured out how to best document like, I don’t know, the growth of these two since they came around in middle school. I know soon I want to add a page for this story to My Mental Breakdown but that’s another thing I have a hard time imagining squeezing into my stupid adult life.
The weirdest part about this project is that I’m really happy I finished a story but it was almost physically painful how obsessed, compelled I felt to work on this. At times in the last few months I was neglecting not only my child but my husband too and that was…weird. Writing feels like its cost has increased greatly since I was a carefree high school student. And the funny thing is that I don’t even feel “wowed” by this project’s quality, but if I’d put out 298 quality pages I think I’d be dead now.
So, more resolution on this project to come, but in the meantime, IT REALLY IS DONE! wow!
Here’s some art!
Lastly I wanted a statement to live on my blog forever about recent events. A lot of white people are having potentially their first encounters with white guilt so Black Lives Matter is currently a very trendy slogan to get behind, in addition to many white people stating for the first time that they’re mad about racism. As someone who went through their teens blissfully unaware of the diversity around them, before stepping into a very whitewashed community for a year, before stepping deliberately back into a diverse neighborhood in South Minneapolis without fully grasping how I was still contributing to systemized racism and also basking in my white privilege, who then read Counseling the Culturally Diverse by David Sue, who then felt super guilty for glamorizing diversity and being a bit exhibitionist about diversity in my art, who has then backed off from pretending like I have a place to speak about or be part of the Black community, who has then come to some sense of peace about things, who has now realized many people did not go through all this…I have done a lot of smh at the white community around me, well-meaning as they are.
Many of my friends, Black and white alike, were in the cities protesting following the murder of a Black man, George Floyd, by a white fucker of a police officer who is now being charged by our amazing Keith Ellison for second and third degree murder. Riots ravaged my nearby city. Shit got destroyed. Uncle Hugo’s was burned to the ground. I was…quiet, withdrawn and depressed, wanting to flee the country as snapshots from apocalyptic games, movies, books flashed in my head, thinking about my innocent albeit white male son growing up in a crumbling country. Since then it seems like there is some really important systemic change that’s beginning to happen, and a lot of organizations, like BLM, have received amazing charity funding that they’ve been scrounging for for ages. And I’m really glad for that. But I know with most traumatic events, the people who weren’t “hurt” by it will move on with their lives. And I wanted to make a statement and a commitment to not forget that I always have and always will support powerful movements like Black Lives Matter. And I am committed to raising my white male child to make this world a better place for his Black brothers and sisters, to know that he has privilege, to encourage him to use it to improve the lives of those who have less privilege than him.
On this blog, Black Lives always have, and always will Matter.