I resolved while talking to some patients a few days ago that I would take some time off from video games to focus on producing art. It helped that on Sunday I got to buy 3 books for my birthday on a trip out with my parents and husband. So all I’ve been doing on my “weekend” is reading, creating, sleeping, and chores. Good times. The only shame is that I’m not into coffee right now. *tear*
Anyway, so Sunday night on my way home from work I got seriously into “Don’t Take the Money” by Bleachers, and as I was sitting at my art desk Monday morning wondering what to draw, I got a vision from the line
Till I saw your face and hands covered in sun and then
I think I understand
and I was like OOH what if I did shafts of sun/shadow on LUCY BECAUSE LIGHT AND STUFF
Needless to say, when I tried the “shafts” part it looked very harsh, bruise-like, and stupid, so it evolved into a more straightfoward light source but with some still fabulous, layered shading and tone transitions. I had her have like this shawl thing draped over one shoulder originally that the more I tried to work with the more I was like -___- I hate, so eventually I was like … this piece is nothing except risk after risk, so I sliced off her whole shoulder and went for some good ol’ fashioned taping a fresh sheet of paper under the rip. I ended up loooving the kind of abstract, sunset shape of her shoulder in the new part.
I find myself very stuck on Sun-Walking. Lucienne feels like my quiet, best friend of a conscience, making me brave and anchored. I put myself to sleep by drifting off into Helios and Agaar. It’s peaceful, it’s centered. It’s a whole world, with a fearsome, loving couple at its helm. I wish I knew what to do with my persistent passion for this project. I keep rereading the manuscript. It’s good. It’s really solid. It’s worth coming back to again and again, and at this point it doesn’t even need any major revisions. So like, at what point do I just gather myself and send off some queries again? I don’t know. The world has become so sacred to me I almost don’t dare to try to push it into the public eye. I don’t want it violated by anyone. At the moment then I suppose I’m just very happy to have Helios and Lucienne to slip away with in the middle of the night, and to be able to continue to draw inspiration from all the themes of the book.