OMS Archives III

sunday 21 june at 12:18pm
let’s put the picture last this time.
yesterday was my open house and i had a lot of artwork on display, so it got lots of attention. especially the gigantic myoku. πŸ˜€ everyone was like wowww when they saw him. so now his popularity level has increased yet again. woo.
and the night before my party i managed to get rid of some of my restlessness by persevering with a picture for the first time in what seems like forever. and it ended up looking pretty fun. it’s got a couple stories represented, AND, the best part is, it’s got Elodie! I’ve had a fixation on her that I haven’t been able to quench lately, until now. She’s the main woman character in “Rebels”, and I liked her ’cause she was French and I addeed ay freench accent to her speech so everyzing she seed ‘ad zat flavor. And she has awesome hair. And she was powerful without being annoying. Really my only successful female along with Kyasai. o.o;
So here we go:


I like a couple of things about it in particular. I like the way there’s blank space above the four characters on the left but Bakura’s arm on the right makes that space worthwhile. And I like the expressions of everyon except Nikkei, but you can barely see him so I can accept that. I like how natural Myoku looks – he doesn’t always look normal because he’s easy to get a little off and then he just looks wrong.
And let’s see. Frappuccino in his hand yes please.
But I messed up the colors frequently.
I almost killed myself after I realized what a primary color I made Myoku’s shirt, and Elodie’s was blue until I realized I didn’t like that…that’s why now its’ got, like, a blue sheen. And her pants were lighter. And her eyes are milder than the bright green they are now. And let’s see. I colored Shani’s bow black before I colored her dress yellow and after I did I realized that’s dumb and her bow should have been pink or something.
And Bakura’s skin is super dark. I don’t know if he should be that color but I know dark skin and red hair is an unlikely combination…but his hair has to be red, so I’d have to change his skin tone, but he’s sort of Egyptian – or was – so the skin tone is appropriate for a Mediterranean man…but the red hair’s not. Hmm. Aside from that I love his face. xD He rocks. I was looking through my art portfolio of some pieces I have from my Star roleplaying days, when Bakura still looked like YGO Bakura…but I smiled because now he’s still a lot like he was then.

So yeah.
That’s this photo’s rationale.
That’s all.
Oh, 2 other things.
1) I’m getting a new phone this afternoon yayyy.
ahhhh what a beautiful man. ;_;
I can’t wait for Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I love C.S. Lewis. <3
But actually, watching Prince Caspian again earlier this week, I realized Edmund is kind of amazing too. πŸ˜€ He’s my age, but the movie’s like a year or two old now so he’s a little younger than me now in the movie so I feel like a bit of a pedo.
hokai now I’m really done. kbai.

sunday 14 june at 2:31pm

the special thing about this? drawn in Corel Painter 11, a trial version which I shall hopefully make a bought version. It’s what I’ve been looking for – screw Photoshop; Painter is for illustration! (I now officially don’t understand the hype about Photoshop…like Gucci sunglasses instead of an identical off-brand pair for 1/8th of the price or something? (That is, for show?)
I don’t know. But Painter. And it costs $399 but Photoshop for students costs the same price. Hopefully if I end up needing PS for Bethany, they’ll give me it for free. πŸ˜€
sooo that’s all.
I am SO tired.

friday 12 june at 11:23 pm (I beat my last blog entry by 33 minutes)


WOOT it’s the finished product (not yet cut out of cardboard)…
…unfortunately I’ve been staring at it for a week (literally, the thing is propped up facing me across the foot of my bed — it snuck into my dreams…calm down; nothing sexual – I ripped it down and wanted to remake it (in the dream)), and so I’m not quite thrilled with it if just for that reason. ._.;
we got a new tv today.
but I want one of the new kittens my cousin’s cat just gave birth to this morning. ;_;
want want want.
yeah well there’s Myoku.
Somehow, probably due to a lack of paper, he ended up slightly downscaled, so he’s either the same size as me (he’s not supposed to be) or a little bit smaller. I should’ve attached more paper to the original sheet, but I think I thought it was bigger as I was doing it.

k well…
the end.

p.s. I decided that a “standard Mary expression” would be something along the lines of a sheepish smile consisting of the message “…oh, well, … NOW i get it *an hour too late*”.
…I’d put the picture up here, but my brain is shutting down…

friday 05 june at 10:50 pm


So this is a piece I just started this afternoon – eagerly, I might add, since I’d been meaning to a picture like this — albeit simple — for a while.
I did do a piece similar to this for the original Redefining Evil, and so it’s only natural I do another for the novel version of it.
Danyil – in the black – dominates this picture, but that’s what I was going for. He really did end up the main character whereas in the original, there was a bit more of a balance between the importance of all the main characters. But I guess that makes sense, since the story is about his redemption and the attempts of the Satos to accept him.
Sera looks like A BABE (the girl on the right), but too timid. The original Shani was more timid, but Sera’s got more attitude. And although she is friggin’ skinny, I might’ve overdone it. xD
And Mei looks like a babe too…a gypsy babe, which, again, was what I was going for. xD
;_; This is so much a safer place to post my stuff than on dA.

monday 01 june at 10:04 pm
I can’t believe Katsumi used to be Takai who used to be T’Kai who used to be Bakura’s adopted son, and Andrew, on the right, used to be Bakura, who used to be Katsumi (the guy on the left)’s (adopted) father…and in this story, Bakura, who’s now Andrew, who’s on the right, is a crazy Christian who’s younger than Katsumi…ahhh, the magic of story-writing…


I’m adding illustrations to the two segments of RE that I have on here, and this is one of them…it’s not gonna do much, but it’ll give me something to do. πŸ˜€

guess who.

saturday 30 may at 4:59 pm

this is my current endeavor…it’s actually for my open house; he’s going to be relatively life-sized (a little scaled down, if you’ll notice) and pointing in the direction of my grad party on the front steps. he’s made out of construction paper, and it’s going to be epic. yea, the tape might have to be worked out. but it’s fun! :] he’ll be like a gigantic paper doll.


monday 18 may at 3:7 pm

I’m keeping company with nature in my back yard after a day where I became spitefully sick of human nature, and it’s certainly pleasant company.
I tripped and went sprawling in one of my classes today and one of my halfhearted friends got a huge kick out of it.
So tomorrow I’m going to show him the three huge bruises I got from it, and hopefully he’ll feel remorse.

Art-wise…well, I finished a really big drawing I used sort of for technical practice, and it’d be up here to add to that message right now, except that I’ve been too lazy to scan it in. ‘Cause I’d be scanning it in 6 pieces so it’s sort of easier said than done given how annoying it would be. (I’ve tried it before for the character pic that’s currently up, and this was meant to replace it, but…we’ll see how quickly I get to that.
mmkay…I thikn I’m going to go inside, my parents are home.

sunday 10 may at 12:32 pm

That’s an old piece that I ran across on my DeviantART, and I realized I’ve begun to put a lot of restraints on my art. I think I don’t want to accept where I am right now in terms of skill, and so anything I produce doesn’t meet my expectations. Consequently, I just haven’t been trying.
It’s kind of due to a run-in I had with a popular artist on DA who couldn’t accept criticism, so she began insulting (not criticizing) my work instead. And every time I pick up a pencil, the words she said to me come into my head. It’s not that I mean to give her that sort of power over me. I’ve just become ashamed of what I do.
Thing is, I know better than to not think that practicing is how you improve. So there’s no way to start producing things I’m not ashamed of unless I just keep working at it.
It doesn’t help that my whole life feels utterly surreal right now.
At work when customers ask if I’ll be transferring, my emotions switch off and I recite that I’ll be going off to college this fall and will find work on campus. I don’t actually feel the truth of that anymore. And this past week with IB testing was a total blur, but when you’re this close to the end of the year, one week passing by without your noticing sets you up for a great shock when all of a sudden someone says there are 13 days of school left.
I’ve been reading, but I haven’t been falling back on my art. My art isn’t a fall-back right now. I don’t feel like I can identify even with the things I have produced, which is a new sensation entirely.
As I was changing the links in the “story” picture, I got the urge to update that characters picture, to try to focus on design as well as characters. I’m going to try, but I don’t know how to push past the dissatisfaction of the lines I put down and put them down anyway.
bahh. It’s not all that bad, I’m just grieving the loss of a lot of things [work, high school] and I didn’t expect to be grieving over a shift in my drawing stuff, too.

saturday 25 april at 1:19 pm


I was messing around with exposure on my camera last night, when I didn’t feel like going to bed, and it was pretty epic. xD Ya whatever.

Life…is way too much right now.
Glad I can just…mess with cameras.

monday 13 april at 3:40 pm

urban dictionary ftw:

The most amazing name ever.
The person who gets annoyed when people sing “Mary had a little lamb” and “Mary mary quite contrary”.
The person who was stupid enough to go to a catholic school, where there was a person in her class called Joseph.

But she’s still amazing.
Don’t deny it, you know it’s true.

Fat Ass: Mary, mary, quite contrary, how does you garden grow?
Mary: Fuck you.

Fat Ass 2: Mary had a little lamb.
Mary: No fatty, she didn’t

xD So I’m picking up an old story that I’d started writing after I finished Rebels, therefore before I began …Whispered the River, therefore before my writing turned to suck. It’s promising!
And it’s cool ’cause originally the two main guys were basically Solimin and Jonas, and this story is where I got the idea to use their characters and to give them the mentor-student relationship that they ended up having. Which is fine and everything, but I definitely spent long enough with their characters in the two volumes of …WtR.
SO, as I was going back over the mere 23 pages I had started on it, I decided to revamp both of them. Jonah (aka Jonas…Jonah came first, and had black hair xD) I renamed him to Jeremiah (he’s more of a Jeremiah anyway) and tried to put a few years onto his face. That ended up giving me a really clear vision of what I want him to look like – as in a real person comes into my head when I try to draw him – so I’m working towards that. He’s like, your typical skinny, black-haired emo boy…but I want to play off that image and instead of making you loathe him, I want to evoke sympathy/pity with him. ‘Cause he’s got a really crappy home life and of course nobody’s actually taught him how to act appropriately or anything. I know a lot of people like that, which is why I’m designing a character like he will be.
Also, DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! This story stars my first-ever African American girl! πŸ˜€ She’s theoretically bi-racial, but her skin ended up looking so dark in most of these first pages that either she won’t be, or her black dad’s just SO dark that she turned out pretty dark-skinned. But it’s really cool because making her black gave me this really clear image of what her character is supposed to be like, and so far it’s been really smooth achieving that. She’s going to be this cool mix of edge and feminine vulnerability, because she’s the closest person to the seriously screwed up Jeremiah (another feeling I can relate to). And she really likes him, and he likes her but his life gets in the way so much that she ends up getting hurt a lot. Her name’s Raleigh, like it was originally…I might change it to something like, say, Hayley or……or….something.
And finally, (well, okay, of the characters presently introduced) we have the character whom Solimin was based on…well, didn’t want to do another story starring Solimin, SO I changed him a little. Surprisingly little, but it made a surprisingly big difference. This guy (Azrael)’s got long-ish, dark (like, chocolate brown dark) hair that curls at the ends (sort of like a cross between Danyil and Solimin) and hawk-colored golden eyes and the narrow face & sharp nose are meant to make him look sort of hawk-like…he’s an angel, after all! πŸ˜€ But he’s sort of…a little big-headed so he tends to screw up because of that, yet he’s also super refined and poised. So the balance of admirable normalcy and suaveness should be fun to work with, considering he’s going to have to scramble to get things right later in the story.

The most exciting part about this project comes in two ways: the fact that I feel no pressure to make something great out of this; I’m simply writing it to write it (haven’t done THAT for a while), and that I have a tentative outline for how the entire story is going to work, beginning to end. So at least the story won’t go horribly astray like …WtR did. :] Because I at least have a fallback plot, even if things end up changing! w00t!

p.s. that Prince of Egypt video has started me off on an unhealthy Disney song rampage. Like we watched Pocahontas on Thursday and I fell in love with Pocahontas (the character) as well as the “Just Around the Riverbend” song…so now it’s stuck in my head ’cause I Youtubed it…xD…But yeah Pocahontas is a babe, man! πŸ˜€


hokai that’s all!
p.s. I’m almost done with schoo-oooool! πŸ˜€

thursday 09 april at 4:15pm


That’s all. [best movie ever. visually stunning with beautiful BEAUTIFUL MUSIC. ahhh!

In the process of sending off my FIRST EVER QUERY LETTER to an agent. o__________o;

monday 30 march at 8:40pm
So, I’ve sort of already started on another project. I don’t really know what to do with RE because I don’t really know what’s to be included with a query letter, and every time I ask my dad whether to send it first to an agent or an editor, he has a different answer. So I’m confused. >_> Also worried, because I’ve gotten essentially zero feedback on the story. I’m OKAY with it…not thrilled, though. … So, my next project, as it is now, is wholly free of vampires, even more free of fantasy, and essentially free of recurring characters. In that sense it’s a littel refreshing, but I’ve regretfully realized I have little interest in writing another manga. I see that going fewer places than many of my hobbies. And it’s painstaking, and perfectionism is a headache where manga is concerned, because it’s even more painstaking to make corrections, whereas in writing, it’s as easy as rearranging two words. I like that fluidity in the writing process…with manga, if you screw something up early in the story, it essentially fcks you over. I understand it’s not that way for everyone, particularly professionals, who tend to pre-write and sketch out every page, but I’m not a professional and I’ve never been good at prewriting, even for nonfiction pieces, so that doesn’t really mix well.

I still like my art, though, it’s just there’s this HUGE hole in my art without my manga. I’m hoping that BLC will help with that in the sense that I’ll be able to develop my art without manga. This has been an extremely important phase in my life, my writing manga, but I kind of feel like a quitter right now because I’m basically giving it up for now because it’s so painstaking and tedious and I’ve not got the patience for that.

Maybe writing will begin to fill that void once I begin to hone it down…we’ll see…

Anyway, with regards to my latest prospective project, I’m kind of comibining several scrapped ideas, or will be. It’s also starring a version of one of my all-time favorite (though sadly underdeveloped) characters from any of my manga – Azrael, who appeared in Rebels, and inspired Sotoka-Khepri’s personality, and this whole idea of the grunge guy who turns out an antihero. And the girl in it is olde,r so she’s less likely to drive me crazy, and she’s also horribly flawed (which also makes her easier to like). And Myoku WILL play a role in it – I don’t know quite to what extent yet. It’s going to be a quiet story. Yeah, Nikkei was freakin’ dramatic and epic, Rebels was hardcore, Redefining Evil was…defining, but this one’s going to be the story of how a family’s lives are changed forever, and how they deal with that. … At least I think so. I started falling back on some literary themes from English class, but I liked how I might be able to work them – namely power through one’s vulnerability. So we’ll see. There are quiet stories out there and they sell, and I as a reader am distinctly less annoyed by them than by books like Twilight and a lot of the new teen titles that are all about someone’s epic adventures.

SO, quiet, understated, profound. That’s my goal with this story, and I think I can do it.

It’s about a brother and sister who are working to pick up the pieces of their broken lives by starting anew, and the struggling people they meet and save along the way. WELL that sounds a little more epic than I expected. I think I can do it! If I feel like it, I might upload the first, like, chapter on here…but I don’t really get, like, any responses, except for Margaret. o_o And I did make Taylor and Abass read the first page today, buuut…>_>; Ah.

I’m going to go revamp my “about me” page now, and then go to bed. xD

sunday 29 march at 10:00am

I…actually can’t really believe this layout ended up working out. It’s sort of remarkable, in a way, because I didn’t really try all too hard on this one. Usually I like scream and flail for a full 12 hours before getting one to work properly. But with this one! Well, I had a first version of the concept of this image done last week, that took me remarkably little time…and then I redid it, and it still took me remarkably little time…then I struggled off and on for a day or two trying to turn the second image into a design, and then started working on it with a bit more dedication yesterday (it was, all in all, mostly complete already) and decided to go about designing it by actually putting it onto a page to see what needed to be done…which actually helped a lot o_o and the next thing I knew I was finishing it up and coding it, didn’t like it yet, so I edited the image and added the yellow/teal content area, then I liked it. I spent the next few hours tweaking the coding here and there (I did run into some errors, such as THIS stupid page, with the overflowing pictures…which I’m not going to do anything about) but I never got particularly overwhelmed with it, and the next thing I knew I was setting the code up with all the other pages. :D!

That really SOUNDS like more work than it actually was, I think. xD

Anyway, things in the creative realm have been rather strange lately. Like, yes, total creative block up until this last week. Working on RE written redistributed my attentions, I guess, so that I could write but not draw as well as usual. Admittedly I’ve been rather down about that. Not having a manga to work on left me feeling rather void. Writing definitely doesn’t satisfy me like writing AND drawing TOGETHER do.
On the up side, I do have a promising future with my art now. You see, at the college I’m going to go to, Bethany Lutheran, well, they have a really strong art department (SPU’s sucked :[)…and I definitely wanted to get on board with it. The art program was one of the reasons I decided to go to BLC. So they ad a decent-sized visual arts scholarship to offer and I went for it. I ended up getting awarded $2000 a year on a renewable scholarship provided I continue taking art classes for my full four years there. O_O! So that means I’ll be continuing with my art! :]

What else…well, nothing, really, I suppose. :]

sunday 18 january at 9:58pm


zomg that thing made me giggle like such a little girly girl. I think I found a really good online comic with that author. Too bad she only started the thing at the beginning of this year and has, like, four pages done.

I’ve been working on RE for over a month now, but I switched formats midway through and cut down to half-page size pages, but I’ve only done seven pages and needless to say it definitely requires a LOT of patience that I don’t really have right now.
Besides, I’ve been doing some research on vampire mythology & folklore, because I wanted to take my RE vampires back to their roots, but it turns out their roots are pretty gruesome. Vampires were mostly Slavic in tradition and basically described people who had died shamefully, like died in their sins, and left their graves at night to go and wreak all sorts of havoc on their hometowns, including drinking people’s blood, and they also spread diseases. Then, according to one site I found, the Catholic church took to recognizing vampires as a “reality”, and started “vampire hunts”. They’d do a bunch of exhumation and mistake a lot of signs of decomposition for the dead body being a vampire, then they’d burn or slice up the bodies so that they would stop haunting villages. Vlad the Impaler, who spawned Dracula, didn’t really even come from this sort of folklore; he was just a crazy Romanian leader, and sounds like he was a bit of a cannibal.
Needless to say, I got a little discouraged. Because if I go any more modern than these folktales, then you get into what stands the chance of being severely cliched – the whole superhuman concept I’d developed (innocently; before Twilight was even written), the whole idea that vampires can acclimate to human life and sort of have it better than humans.
And I’m a little uncomfortable with dealing with the sort of vampires that I learned about tonight. I’ve alwaysalwaysalways been spooked even by the WORD “corpse”, and have not even a remote interest in writing about them. And the whole reproduction between vampires is entirely out of the question. Necrophilia, anyone? And it’s no wonder vampires are eternally condemned if they’re just dead people haunting the living, because God is the Lord of the Living, not the dead.
I mean, as soon as I learned this I started thinking up all sorts of scenarios that would fit RE’s premises – like half-vampires, because these dead people rape living people (if they can spew blood when shanked with a stake, then them men can spew sperm, yes?), and the half-vampires have acclimated to be able to live in daylight, but they still look dead and they have to drink human blood to keep themselves alive and from becoming full vampires…but let’s face it, that’s REALLY, REALLY GRIM. But then the answer to RE’s question there is that when even a vampire comes to know Christ, their life is returned. It’s sort of a second chance, since vampires got the way they are because they never repented of their sins. And a half-vampire can become fully human (since clearly it was NEVER their choice to be half — they were literally born into it, as every human after Adam and Eve were born into sin) by coming to know Christ, too.
…But this wasn’t the story I had in mind, and it’s so dark I can barely stomach even the thought of it, much less describing it in full and whatnot.
It makes me want to say screw cliches and just return to the story I wrote in tenth grade in all, but really, the world has seen enough glamourized vampires to last a freakin’ lifetime. Then again, there are enough of the “popular” traits of vampires in the original legends (according to…er, the Encyclopedia Mythica), ones that I never even included in the makeup of my vampires – like transforming into a bat, control over the elements, flight, etc – to be able to recreate mine a little bit to stick with some of the older traditions, but still…I had definitely learned to like the glamourized vampire. =/
I want to at least pull some of the older folklore into RE, and I have some interesting ideas (recorded below) but they’re SO DARK. T_T
ie: if a vampire is a dead human reanimated because of the sin in their life, well, what about something like an abortion? dead baby. if you catch one before cremation, it could live as a vampire…that was my idea for Mikara, which’d give her an interesting dimension, what with being an aborted baby. That’s something you don’t get over.
and I was thinking Sotoka-Khepri could be a full vampire, shot by his brother for sleeping with his brother’s girlfriend, and the demons that he gets in contact with animate his body so far that he can come out during the day – which would make him a dozen times creepier than he already was.
eripmav would be the most “normal” vampire out of all of them. not sure about his history yet.
…but dude, this stuff freaking GROSSES ME OUT. and I wish I’d never learned it, so I wouldn’t feel weird about writing about some glamourized vampires. =/ Then again, really, if I’d really thought about it, what else are vampires than what I’d learned? To be immortal is one thing; the Greek gods were considered immortal, and it was beautiful. but to be immortal in the sense that you’re not alive anymore to begin with, now that’s a curse indeed.
oh, one thing that the article I linked to mentioned was that people could become vampires if they’re like, born under a certain bad omen. that could be Eriv’s case.
…But gosh, I really don’t want to give up my repulsion for dead bodies just to write a story about some truly classic vampires, fucking damn it.
it’s disgusting.
…which, if I choose not to tackle it, leaves me with nothing to write right now.


monday 08 december at 4:42 pm

Yep, definitely totally ditched TCoaRH as soon as I finished it. And, as you’d note from the latest update on the homepage, I shifted projects. I’m now working on doing a high-quality finished version of Redefining Evil, the story I wrote before Rebels (which was written before TCoaRH). And it’s actually been really fun. I’m really attached to all the characters, except maybe Sotoka, but I’m attached to him because he’s such a psycho nutcase and that pulls my heartstrings (hence why I want to be a psychologist/therapist/counselor in some sort of mental health institute plz.)…which basically means that I like the characters, I love the story, and now, redoing it, I can do what I was complaining about in the entry below this and actually weave a thorough story by quietly alluding to what’s to come, by making my message stronger, and easier to follow. W00t. I’m just undecided about a couple of things. Like what to make the vampires look like. … Okay, so that’s mainly all. o.o And I like their design now, but it’s not that aesthetically pleasing. >_>; Especially the pointed ears.
In other news, I’ve gotten unfortunately drawn into a relatively popular manga that I was hoping not to like, called Vampire Knight. I like the complicated relationships most of all, and the complex vampire society. AND Yuki & Zero are HOT.

And that’s pretty much what compelled me to write in this. xD

sunday 30 november at 10:06 am

You have no idea how dissatisfied I’m feeling with …WtR/TCoaRH.
So I’ll tell you! πŸ˜€
I feel like Nikkei was a window to my soul.
Redefining Evil was a window into my spiritual beliefs.
Rebels was a window into my perspective on historical events.
…Whispered the River is a window into the downhill journey of my emotional well-being.
The characters are empty and unmoving, either that or they’re depressed, confused, abused or angry.
The story is interesting, but badly told.
The art — the surface level — is the best I’ve done.
my mom was looking at the cover page that I did yesterday for it:

And she goes “it’s funny, because the title is ‘the cadence of a restless heart’, but there’s no emotion in this picture…”
And I go *sag, shot through heart*
And then she goes, “wait, her eyes are sad…” And I’m like, “whose, the lady’s on top?” and she’s like “well yeah, but I meant hers *points to Cirrus*” and I’m like “great. she’s not supposed to be” to myself.
So I safely reach the conclusion that this story is a general failure.
It’s been artistically excellent, but I don’t just care about the art, now do I? I’d almost say that I want to be more of a storyteller than an artist. Even though I value both. Granted, in some places the story was told well…but the simple fact that the whole first volume is merely setting the stage for the second volume (hence the exta 40 pages in the second), and I clearly had little idea what would happen in the second one, because there are only vaaaague hints as to what happened…if I were like Jonathan Stroud, the whole story would’ve been planned, and I could have foreshadowed everything excellently. Jonathan Stroud is my hero. T________T;
But the characters are undeveloped and, what’s worse, remain unchanged by the events of the story. … That’s a whole message in itself (Spirited Away!), but it’s NOT what I was going for. T__T;;; Cirrus changes, but she loses her edge in the process. Jonas gets more of an attitude, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing either. Syracrus doesn’t change. Rycarieus does. … Gosh, I love Rycarieus. That’s all. T_T;;
Gosh, it’s so frustrating! Argh! I say, “this is NOT my best work.” And somebody said “well, you can’t always be writing your best work, otherwise it clearly wouldn’t be your best.” but my next story better OWN.
The only thing I know about it right now is that the main character will be a guy, and I’m going to pick who will hav lead roles and not try to “let that be determined”….because then I get awkward scenes like in …WtR where I’m trying to give minor characters bigger parts, and then oops they fall back into the shadows but have these awkward steps into the spotlight for a moment. eugh.
I realized too……WtR is a glimpse into my soul, but the things you find don’t bode well for me. >_>

thursday 13 november at 7:31 pm
Mannn! This has been a truly splendid day. And I got to start it off with my favorite site manager, Margaret! xD (This title was self-proclaimed, but I approve. *stamp of approval*)
I really like having this website now. It’s soothing, and I feel like I almost got back to where I was before I stopped webdesigning for so long. πŸ˜€ And like a lot of things have just made me happy today. It’s cool. Even though I have half an act left to read of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, I’m still happy. Bahaha.
And let’s see. Well, the fact that we had a late start today — only us seniors. >D I was surprised, though; most of my teachers still got things done. ;_; Not as much as usual though, haha.
And my story’s exciting right now, because I’m sketching out the final scene.
I think the funny thing about my writing is the way that I’ve transitioned my way into writing like most writers do – with rough drafts and prewriting. I’m still a little skeptical about the benefits of writing out an entire sketch of a story from beginning to end, but since I haven’t done it before I see no reason why I shouldn’t. I think it was fine with Nikkei because I didn’t care if the story got away from me, but having not planned out a clear ending for …Whispered the River has really hurt the overall flow of the story. I can’t seem to connect with the characters as well. I think I introduced too many in the second volume who could have gotten some sort of background in the first volume, but I didn’t know their background because I didn’t know what they were like until I started writing about them. So, when I’m done with …WtR, whatever I write after it I’m going to try to have an idea of where it’s headed from beginning to end. *sigh* Yeah, I’ve lost the spontinaety (sp. fuck you.) of Nikkei, but I still enjoy writing, no matter how it’s done. The best part about …WtR is that it tried out a new set of characters. They’re not as good as Nikkei’s characters, but I do like a lot of them.
Sooo, now I’m going to go read my friend’s paper and write and read AMND! πŸ˜€

sunday 09 november at 10:08 am
Blahhh. Not feeling very happy today. Mornings just aren’t my thing anymore.
I just keep vainly adding things to this site I think. It’s just kinda retardo. :/ No I mean I like it and everything. But I’d rather be working on the actual WTR story. But that’s being a challenge too.
And I’m sick of boys, but that has nothing to do with anything. =/ the only cool boys are Andy & Abass. D:
I feel like I had a point to writing this…ah well.
Except that I think I’m going to make …WtR into a full blown tragedy. πŸ˜€ Yay for inspiration from Hamlet! *hoorah*

saturday 08 november at 8:21 am
First I’m up too early. Now I work today & tomorrow. All I want to do is draaaaaaaaaaaaw. T_T;
I’m changing the time period that Catherine & Martin came from. They’re going to be from the roarin’ twenties. That means I also get to give Ry & Syr hotter outfits. But I wonder what to do about Martin’s hair now.
Aaaaaaaand why I think I have the time to do this. >_>

SEE, SEE?!?! :Dfriday 07 november 2008 at 6:52pm
Margaret told me to start a blog, so I’m just going to ramble a little bit about art-related things.
The first thing I want to say in regards to …Whispered the River is that I’ve realized that, especially in the second volume, it’s kind of become a collection of tightly related short stories. It’s all about the identities of the individuals, and in that way it’s kind of existential. O____O; All of the characters know each other and have to do with each other, but they don’t really make decisions based on others — they all decide exactly what they feel like doing, and nothing happens before they decide that they want to do it. It sounds a little selfish and whiny, but like, often their decisions are in light of the feelings of others and their relationships with others. I guess that’s kind of become my life motto in some ways — in that I do what I’m passionate about, and if it has to do with other people fine, but if it doesn’t, passion is passion.
But about the series of short stories, I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m a little disappointed in myself because it’s not what I was going for, and it means that the story more or less got out of hand, but “the plot is always flowing”, Kyra said, and I guess in some ways that’s true, too. But can that go together? Can they be a bunch of short stories with a plot that’s moving in one direction? Hmm.
And about the name, DAMN IT. Ana says I should call it “Shouted the Stupid River” or something, because the “River” in the title of the story …Whispered the River is Rycarieus, and Rycarieus is an asshole and he never whispers. xD I’ve been trying to come up with a new (suitable xD) name for the story but I haven’t yet. The only one that I like is “In Light of a Memory”, but that doesn’t fit the mood of the story. And I don’t like the word light.
But I don’t know, lately my art’s felt so “right” to me. With growing support around me (Margaret, Taylor, Vicky, Adley, Kyra and Ana and so forth), it’s felt like I just can’t stop it. I also decided that I want to in some form or another pursue art in college. I mean, why not? How much more useful is psychology/linguistics than art? Not much. So why the heck shouldn’t I pick the one of those that I’m fiery passionate about?
But I can’t let go of writing, either. I don’t think I could stand just drawing a series of independent pictures. My art is about the people in it. Cirrus wouldn’t be so cool if I didn’t know what she would like. I wouldn’t like drawing Myoku if he wasn’t so alive to me. It’s the characters. The art comes from them. So I don’t know.
All right, well, I’m going to go draw now. xD


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