Category: Real People

Art!, Comics, Real People, Ryan & Me

marital problems

mary v.

True recollection of a very true event when we were shopping over the weekend. I was so confused as to why he was pulling on my bun but alas, I was just a prop.

I feel like I’m in a bit of a creative rut lately. I feel like most of what I’ve done has been derivative of previous works and I haven’t really done anything new or worthwhile in a bit. I’ve been rereading Sun-Walking, and it makes me at once sad and nostalgic because like, I just want that again. But how come I can’t make something that’s better? Fart.

Trying to figure out how next to fucking push myself. There’s gotta be something I can do.

Art!, Real People, Ryan & Me

something just like this

mary v.

 

I’m finally done! I did this before we went on our honeymoon and then when I got back I was swept up in the Panic Wolves story (Shey and the Panic Eaters. Tentatively.) So I’m excited to finally have finished it up. “Ryan” basically looks like Beast Boy from Teen Titans. And “my” eyes still look weird. Soooaooaoaoaoa that’s about all I got on this. Sparkle sparkle floof.

Real People, Ryan & Me, Writing!

vacation inspiration

mary v.

Well, well, well! I may not have done a lot of drawing on vacation, but I had an itch to work on a new story and…I DID.

So it all started because of how amazing the frontman of Rise Against is.
Okay but also look how punk adorable me and my cute husband are when we go punk out to punk bands in Canada.
Okay anyway, so basically I was into Rise Against a little bit when Satellite came out, and then when The Black Market came out three years ago I tumbled back down the Rise Against rabbit hole. They happened to be having a show in Canada when we were going to be there on our honeymoon, so while it was Ryan’s third Rise Against concert, I was eagerly going to my first concert of theirs.
Rise Against’s lyrics have gotten deep into me many times, appearing in many of my paintings and popping up on many of my tweets. On Friday, two days before the concert, one of Ryan’s friends suddenly told us on Twitter that their new album came out.
WORLD.
ROCKED.
It was all the political commentary I was ever waiting for and all the gritty realism about relationships I’ve always loved, and then I saw him singing in concert, and I was like, omfg, he’s just wanting to be written, and like, I fangirled a lot, and then he played my favorite song alone onstage with an acoustic guitar. And then I was like, I want him to be one of my characters.

The next day at our hotel I was like I’M GONNA STORY PLOT, and I literally wrote like three lines of brainstorming, one of which was, “themes? mental illness, commitment” and then I branched off mental illness and I was like PANIC ATTACKS, BUT THEY RELEASE LIKE, CHAOS

And then on the plane this morning I started writing about FUCKING JULIAN and suddenly I was like omg I totally know his voice, it’s amazing, and then I was like, jesus, he helps save this girl whose panic attacks cause elemental anomalies, and he totally falls for her, and then MICAH IS ONE OF HIS FORMER CLIENTS, WHO’S LIKE, TAKE ME IN ON YOUR BUSINESS and then aaaah

I don’t know yet if it’ll live outside the airport but I wrote 8 pages single spaced of it while at various very, very, very delayed flights.

So, I’m liking it. Soon, this will call for Julian/Micah/Shian/Paris fanart HEHEHEHE

Art!, Real People, Ryan & Me

virgin killer sweaters

mary v.

Yesterday I got obsessed with the Virgin Killer sweater and I would have bought one had my husband not reminded me that I had to borrow money from my mother in order to make it to my next paycheck. Frownie face. Trying really hard to get delicate and light with watercolors, as I always see paintings with watercolor like that and I’m like GET MORE SATURATED DAMN IT when I use them.

Art!, Emotional Breakdowns, Real People, Ryan & Me

what a tragedy of conscience

mary v.

Times have been terrible this past week. Honestly the lowest of all. My life has been essentially shattered, and not by something beyond my control, but by my own thoughtless hand. I’ve lost an enormous amount of what I’ve held dear. Fortunately for me, I married a man whose forgiveness and tenderness know no bounds. I didn’t even know it till now, either. We’ve been deeply wounded – I wounded him, and after tending to his wounds till they began to heal, I realized how deeply I’d been wounded too.

In a sense I feel like he’s all I’ve got now, and everything else is empty and cold. He can make me smile and explode and he wipes away my tears and because of his faith in me is the only reason I don’t hate myself entirely. He wants to help me heal no matter the cost to him.

So when I endeavored to make an extraordinarily depressing painting of us, he was by my side making suggestions and providing affirmation, as ever. I feel like this really dug into the essence of what our hearts are like right now. I’m drained and wounded and confused and I’ve slashed his heart in two and tangled him up in my own hurts. But he’s held my hand and held me close and told me we’ll make it through.

There are some mistakes that are truly life-altering. I’m still reckoning with what I’ve done and ruined. If not for him to guide me through this and to hold my heart in his hands, I’d surely have destroyed myself by now.

I’m really, really sad. I’m in a true spell of situational depression. It’s all I’ve been able to think about today – it’s always there, even when I’m laughing or curling my toes or pressing my nose to  my tablet as I create. And I can only hope that because of him and because we know how to care for each other and ourselves, that my wounds too will begin to heal up. That my lifeblood will slowly refill inside me. That I’ll use this as a lesson that everything I do affects my husband, in small ways and large, and that I must protect myself but also him. That my future is with him, and that we can get through anything as long as we’re together.

Art!, Real People, Ryan & Me

mystic coffee

mary v.

mystic-coffee

 

I’m pretty excited to have finally finished the first non-100 Days piece of art that I’ve done since I dunno, before the 100 Days started. While I love doing the 100 Days and it’s definitely helped me commit to daily art more, it’s kind of felt like I’ve been pidgeonholed into those drawings. I get home from work and I do a drawing and then I play video games until I get too tired by 9:15. Then on the weekends I’ve been busy with various wedding stuff, either my own or others, and now it’s the holiday season.

So, here’s this! I missed drawing textured hair (Ryan and I basically have shoujo hair), and I LOVE how all the ethereal cloudiness turned out. I worked really hard making the colors unified and I fixed the skirt last night, bringing it from boring to lovely super fast as soon as I started fucking with it. I love the nice mixture of small flicks and big fluffy washes in everything.

Art!, Emotional Breakdowns, Ryan & Me

100 days: a project

mary v.

HI GUYS!

I thought I’d post about what I’ll probably be up to for the next while. I can’t help it and I’d better just admit that wedding planning has completely overtaken my attention. Tonight, I happily crafted my little comic bubbles for my table markers while making my fiance help me. Didn’t even think about how specific of a craft it was. Just did it, because it’s what’s on my mind.

Well, on Wednesday last week it hit 100 days till my wedding on 1/7/17. I decided in light of my obsession with wedding stuff that I’d do a project. I know since I met Ryan (literally since I made a drawing of our first kiss) that my art has become dominated by him. Somehow without realizing it he really did become my muse in every sense of the word. Between that and the fact that weddings are a lot of work, especially when you’ve got an artist stick up your bum and want to do it all yourself exactly as you prefer it, I don’t really have the energy for aimless drawings as much as normal. So I figured, why not channel my crazy consuming love into productive art in another form besides making centerpieces or banners. And like, if I decided that this project would be something I could share at my wedding, then it’d scratch that itch for feeling like I need to be doing something for the wedding all the damn time.

So, while most artists are celebrating Inktober (which, yes, I’m still super jealous of), I’m 5 drawings into my 100 Days of Love sketchbook project.

Every day, I’ll draw something that comes from Ryan and I. Whether a goofy anime doodle, or a sultry, emotive charcoal drawing from a real, raw moment when Ryan pulled me out of the darkness in my head, I’ll draw SOMETHING. I’ve already even had one throwaway day where I just started a sketch for our private ceremony invites. That’s the thing, I know they won’t all be winners but that’s never the point of daily art challenges. The point is to produce work. And I am, and in this case every time I draw for this project I’m also reminded why I want to marry this nerdy guy scrolling on Twitter while watching football next to me. In every way, this project is an amazing endeavor that I’m excited to have made a commitment to doing.

Here’s a few so far that I’ve really loved.

95 9997

Art!, Real People

digital doodling

mary v.

I haven’t had any big serious projects to work on since “For Life,” but I’ve been making digital doodling a fairly regular part of my daily living lately.

Here’s a collection of what I’ve kind of finished.
nerdgirlandbigboobs

When Ryan coined the verbage “Nerd Girl and Big Boobs” for me and my bestie, I couldn’t help but picture a fun anime doodle of us. Got lazy on the coloring. What else is new.
babs

Friday night I sat down and wanted to draw a girl to contrast my usual lanky sultry style, and as soon as I drew her big boots she rather naturally evolved into a “Batgirl in Repose” drawing that I’m too scared to share with Batgirl artist Babs Tarr via social media.
kewties

Random doodle of me and my nerd love.bone dry Just discovered this badass brush in my Kyle Webster pack and immediately fell in love. Tried to add color, ruined the poise.cupcakesonthemind

Was drawing during my fiance’s family fantasy football draft. Spent the weekend choosing and discussing wedding cupcakes, so you can say they’re on my mind.

chums

 

This is from a while ago and I kept pretending I was going to add color to it, but what for? The line art is STUNNING. I started doing this concurrently with For Life and that one understandably won out, but how cute are these idiots?