You know, it’s surprisingly challenging for me to actually try to improve in my own direction. A lot of my time drawing (writing doesn’t work like this) is spent thinking of this or that artist and how I wish I could do (digital/watercolor/ink/shading/faces) like this artist or that. It’s not until I finally slow down and tell myself that I can proceed how I want to proceed, rather than whom I wish I were most like, that I actually get anywhere.
Thus, this week I’ve had a few digitally colored pieces (relating to Apprentice of Light) that I’ve scrapped midway through because I get so frustrated once I try to move past the flat color phase and onto shading. See, my cell shading usually looks awful, and more often than not I over-shade when trying to do it gradient.
So I started this sketch of Ingrid and Lucienne this evening because I think of all the female characters I’ve written, those two are most compatible — like (revelation), if I were to stick them together in a story, it would be KICK-ASS. Anyway, when I got past flat-coloring Lucienne, I decided to focus in and try to work at shading her until I liked it.
Five hours later…
I’m pretty happy with it. I love that it’s got the big brushy line-art but it’s also nicely shaded. See, one tendency I usually have whilst shading digitally is that “Hm maybe this would work better if I just got rid of the lines altogether *proceeds to destroy entire picture*” So this was a bit of a remedy for that. Lines have always been my strength, so I used them as a crutch in this piece, and it worked. 🙂
Anyways, some other AoL (tee hee…AOL…America OnLine…tee hee…Nineties internet) sketches from this week
see with this one I went “Hm maybe this would work better if I just got rid of the lines altogether”
yeah scary huh. and then this next one i said “I’M GOING TO DO CELL SHADING DAMMIT *hurry hurry hurry*”
and then this one i said “eff this color isn’t working, OH WELL I’LL JUST PUT A FLAT COLOR BEHIND THEM”
whoa, wordpress facelift! all right then. i can deal.
anyway, was sketching. find myself repulsed by the idea of penning/colored penciling things, so in this case i settled for a pencil sketch with digital colors /lazy
i decided that lucienne, cirrus and ingrid would really get along.
it wasn’t until was contemplating coloring this that i realized with dismay that all three girls are white. more than that, two out of three of these girls are not only white, they are ABNORMALLY white. i lose some cultural coolness points with that one.
**edit**
a. idk what the hell happened to cirrus’ eyes. they used to be the correct shape.
b. why doesn’t white gel pen actually work the way i want it to
c. olive green colored pencils are not olive green
d. ughughugh i murdered ingrid’s usually gorgeous tresses in so many ways
e. wtf lucienne what happened to your mouth
f. i loath the way i have to adjust the shit out of traditional pieces because colored pencils are too grainy or the scanner washes out the saturation
g. oh GOSH why doesn’t traditional produce the kind of results as digital ): i am a traitor to my own arguments
h & lastly. i shouldn’t even point out that i worked on these lines and colors over two days. but that digital one, which honestly looks better…30 minutes. tops. ):
I kind of like it. It’s so glowy. :O
That’s all.
Finishing up “Wind-Running” and looking forward to “Sky-Dancing.” WR is almost the same length as SW, which is continuing my indecision about whether I would market this as one 600-or-so page epic or as three separate books in a trilogy.
I just realized in my own writing that I have this tendency to be all right writing females — except for the lead role. I mean, maybe women writers in general tend to be somewhat weaker at writing their own sex than they are writing males (this, of course, is possibly just trying to justify myself).
Anyway, thinking back, I typically have a male lead. There was Nikkei in “Nikkei.” All but two of the characters were male in “Rebels,” and only one of those two females was important, and she wasn’t a “lead” enough for me to mess up. Also in “Redefining Evil,” I only have two females. I’d say both Ingrid and Lacy are authentic, but not necessarily likable. Then I hated Cirrus in “…Whispered the River,” and Cadence, Catherine, Ariell (at least I think that was her name), and Tyena were definitely not meant to be “loved.”
All right — I did like Sophie in “Farewell, Fairytale.” But that shouldn’t really count, because I based Sophie on myself and just used Ingrid’s appearance, which I already liked. “Catcher” had a male role, and I did like Phoebe, but I tried really hard to make her pleasant because that would be a lovely contradiction to her career as a prostitute (wow — and this was before seeing “Firefly!”)
And then comes Lucienne. I had this dreadful moment this last week when I suddenly realized how many wins I give her. I beat up like crazy on my male characters in this story, but any time Lucy gets hurt, I make sure she’s the victim. And this far outweighs the times when she overcomes the odds against her and comes out victorious. I mean, part of it is intentional because of the feminism vs. patriarchy theme I play with. Obviously I want feminism to win. That means in the case of Lucienne’s relationship to Levi that she sort of has to wear the pants. But I’m pretty sure there are instances where I overdo it.
This is why I decided that I’m going to wreak emotional havoc on her in the third book. 😀 Levi’s gonna occasionally get tired of tip-toeing around her sense of sexual independence (that sounds slightly perverse but…I don’t mean it that way xD).
Anyway, this problem has no real conclusion because I don’t really know how much of it has to do with the fact that I have been working with Lucienne for more than three consecutive weeks and how much of this has to do with a real concern.
(Octavia Butler’s Fledgling got good in the last 50 pages. Why do authors do that?)
The man brushed at his collar and told her laughingly, “Yes, I’m a world-seeker too. Are you?”
Lucienne said nothing. There was something in his face she didn’t trust. She felt vulnerable without Levi beside her, like any word could give away her secrets.
“My name’s Titus. I can guess what your name is, by the way.”
Lucienne stared at him.
“I’ll bet it’s Belle. Because you’re beautiful.” He beamed.
She made a face. “Who says things like that?”
Burgh. I really want a new OMS layout. But I’m stuck. I had been working on a less graphics-based one to no real success. I especially lost interest in it once smelly Margaret goes “You alllwaaaays have a picture.”
And now I want it to have a picture.
But I don’t know of what.
I’ve got so many ideas rolling around in my head, and none of them are concrete.
First I was thinking of one with Levi and Lucienne – which has potential, but for some reason I feel like avoiding a story-specific layout. Probably because I feel like with all the stuff with RE, the area with the stories should be the only area that has anything story-exclusive in it.
So then I was thinking I could do one featuring only one (or two) characters from each of my seven stories (Nikkei, RE, Rebels, …Whispered the River, Farewell Fairytale, Catcher and Sun-Walking). But I feel like aiming for simplicity, and cramming at least seven characters into an image would not leave me with a simple layout.
So then I think, well, the seven characters idea sounds fun. Who cares if it’s not simple.
And then I’m left with this sort of circular reasoning that has no conclusions.
D:
And that’s where I am. I only have another week to come up with a new layout before school starts again! Knowing me, I’ll have one done by tomorrow. But at this rate, I don’t even know which direction to go.
And I DON’T WANT TO BE FINISHED WITH SUN-WALKING. ): It’s been such a pleasurable (why must that word be ruined by sexual connotations) (okay it might not have been before, but now it is) experience writing it. So refreshing to have an ENTIRELY new cast (excluding Levi’s physical similarities to Syracrus’ hair) in an ENTIRELY new world that for once ISN’T modern, and working with an issue (sexism and extreme patriarchy) that I can get going about.
All right! This thing shall be conquered and full of updates on my artistic/literary life! 🙂
First off, this is what I’m currently jamming to.
I heard it off an underground Christian radio station, Effect Radio. I’ve been finding so many good bands through them, and for the first time in a while I’m probably actually going to purchase an album (The Workday Release’s). 😀
Anyway – let’s see. I’m going to go check where everything was at the last time I blogged. Oh – that’s right. I’d just started Sun-Walking. Well, last night I just hit 100 pages of that beast. I like it so much. It’s one of those stories like Farewell, Fairytale where I’m trying to tell myself something. So far, it’s working really well. And I’m working with an all new female, Lucienne (which I thought was a name I made up because I was first going to call her Lucerinne…which sounded too much like Listerine, and then I found out it’s a real one haha). Lucienne is the most successful I think I’ve been with integrating femininity with strength. This is an early sketch I did of her when I first started getting drawn into the story:
Kyra convinced me to make her blond, which actually helped push the story in the direction it went. Helios is more homogeneous, and I had sort of a Swedish/Scandinavian/German/Western European look in mind for the archetypical Helios citizen. That worked really well with the Sun-Walker being a foreigner, because he creates a visual foil for what’s expected of someone from Helios.
It was difficult in the beginning to develop the Sun-Walker because I knew he’d be central to the story. Over the years I’ve tried out a lot of different kinds of guys in my stories. I’ve had the gruff emotionally constipated kinds like Eripmav; the emotionally tortured/deeply commited kind like Julian; the hotshot romantic like Andrew; the goof/deeply injured like Micah…so every time I thought “Hey, the Sun-Walker should be _____!”, my next thought would go, “…Yeah, that’s just like _____.” Haha. But I am unexpectedly thrilled with him. It really helped that I was being influenced by a totally new culture myself. My shenanigans at Augsburg brought me a lot of unexpected blessings this semester. One of those included the chance to live away from home for a month and a half with a new God-ordained friend from Augsburg. She was renting the third bedroom in an old-fashioned apartment complex just northwest of downtown (we’re talking like, skyline out the porch windows) from 2 guys whose third roommate was traveling for the semester. The guys happened to be from India working in the States on their Ph.D.’s in, for example, electrical engineering – all the super-over-my-head sciency stuff. They were really easy to be around and one of the two was very sociable, open, and friendly. In several big ways, he sort of became the Sun-Walker. I have…okay that would have sounded awkward. Uh. His appearance is somewhat Parthiv’s. Also I learned enough from him and Bodhi to incorporate their culture when necessary for Levi. (I just realized that, as a Hebrew name, Levi doesn’t really fit this plan. But he’s too much Levi now to change it, and that sounds better than Atma.)
In all, Sun-Walking’s been really gratifying to work on. Its message is something I really want to tell (it’s about a girl who finds her something, instead of her someone.
Sun-Walking is also a highly illustrative concept since the whole world is only illuminated by organic, localized light called Sun-Nectar.
(lol –> “You’ll notice a trend as the terminology of Sun-Walking develops. It involves the word ‘Sun,’ and a dash, and then some word vaguely relating to its actual purpose. I hold no responsibility.”)
Since that’s the case though, I started mulling over the possibility of making a Sun-Walking layout. That launched this picture.
A lot of the details are lost in the smaller version, but it’s probably going to be about this size for the layout, too. So. Isn’t Levi beautiful? ;_; My mom said that Lucienne looks like Kyra (and she was convinced of this, whereas usually she just says one of my characters looks like so-and-so just to piss me off). Either way, I totally like her look. Helios is sort of a pre-Industrial Revolution society. Which will definitely become obvious for my plans later in the story. >D I figured it out last night. It’s going to be epic.
Anyway, I had one other REALLY EPIC PIECE OF NEWS that I don’t think has entirely sunk in yet!
Remember when I sent off Redefining Evil to an October Fantasy Novel Month publishing company contest thing? Well, I heard back from them! Their response was not “thrilling,” per se, but very encouraging. In the email was words from one of the two head honchos of the company as well as two reader-judges who must have read my chapters. The reader-judges both said they were hooked right away by the story but that there were some stylistic things that threw them off. One person pointed out that switching from Micah’s 1st person POV to more distant 3rd person POVs was uncomfortable. They also said that “I was very hooked by this story – which is saying a lot, because I’m usually turned off the moment anyone says “vampire!’ these days.” WHICH WAS BAM. SUCCESS FOR ME. 🙂 That’s exactly the response I wanted. The second reviewer pointed out it was tough jumping into the middle of the Evereaux/Ingrid&Danny conflict, which I can see, but that might not be fixable unless I decided to give away Mihai’s story earlier in the story. As for the POV comments, I’m at least going to switch Micah’s voice to third person but keep it close in comparison to Lacy especially. I might try to pull Ingrid and Julian in closer because their emotions are really important.
Regardless of how I decide to approach this, the editor wouldn’t like more chapters until April or May, so I have plenty of time. It’s very difficult getting this back now. I’m pretty much in the middle of Sun-Walking. I’ve written two full stories since I wrote the bulk of RE (Farewell, Fairytale and The Catcher). I’ve abandoned pretty much all of the problems that the readers pointed out, and that makes me annoyed to have to deal with my older awkward writing. Basically I feel like I had finally moved on from my dedicated work to RE, and now I have a true, professional reading to go back to it. It’s not going to be a little pet project anymore, it’s going to be treated like an assignment, something that could truly get me somewhere but without a lot of work. I wonder if I should try to print a copy of RE and work with it on paper, and really tear it apart and put it back together. I’m glad I have the time to, so I’m just going to start praying very hard for it.
The possibility of RE getting out there for people to read and enjoy and think about is…well, it’s a bit beyond my mind’s capacities. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that an editor from a publishing firm (…Okay, screw discretion – it’s called Port Yonder Press) would possibly like to see more of something I wrote. It’s…whoa. It’s not unexpected, but hard to believe that my feelings about RE weren’t just overblown ego. Haha. Not that I thought they were. From my more objective standpoint, I’d say Sotoka-Khepri is probably the strongest character in the story, and maybe Julian. Micah, Lacy and Ingrid are a little harder for me to relate to or feel right now. How odd.
Anyway, just thought I’d share the good news and where my writing’s at now. It’s weird, because I sort of feel like keeping this stuff with RE quiet. I told my editors Margaret and Kyra, and of course my parents know, but I’m not sure I want a ton of people knowing. My dad, from his experienced perspective, said that the news from Port Yonder is very, very encouraging. He ticked off a list of reasons why the way that they responded was good. Later he walked past and mumbled, “You’re going to get a book published before I do.” and I’m not sure I believe him, haha.
The boardwalks here were spindly and creaky, with missing planks and shaky railings. Lucienne loved it. Each step she took was careful as she ascended the slope of a crescent-shaped bridge. Fillip squeezed her hand and inched after her. She stopped and took a seat at its peak. Fillip used her shoulder to slowly ease onto the plank beside her, and then he lifted his head and smiled at the scenery. The bridge’s crest was the highest point in the whole city of Helios. From here, the homes looked like clusters of stalagmites clinging to a cave floor and stretching as far as Lucienne could see. When the moon rose, the stars disappeared, and Lucienne stared at the sole light in the immense expanse of sky that seemed now to embrace her and swallow her up. After a while, she lowered her gaze and focused on the furthermost tips of Helios homes. Then she stared beyond them. Far in the distance, she sighted a tiny pinprick of light. It felt impossibly isolated. With a thrill of wonder and envy and admiration, she knew it to be the home of the eastern Sun-Walker. She knew no one who’d ever met him. Most citizens of Helios went their whole lives only knowing someone who knew someone who knew someone who swore they’d seen the Sun-Walker at the marketplace from a distance.
